Woman in sausage-fest field here, a few things…
1. Those questions are tone deaf, and probably written by an older person I bet. Things like “work life balance” when I was in my 20s would have been incomprehensible to me, as I was a workaholic establishing my career and I loved what I did, so I did it constantly. Work life balance wasn’t a thing I needed or valued. (…I do now, though!)
2. It wasn’t really until later in my career that I encountered the kind of sexism that held me back. I did have one or two egregious encounters — being asked where the “real” tech was, lol, or to take notes in a group where me and some other guy were both just as young and new. For that I simply said to him one day “funny how they always ask the woman to take notes, right?” And he stepped up and volunteered next time. Stuff like that. But it never felt like it was holding me back until I got further, higher, and more niche in my career. So you may NOT have much to talk about wrt this yet. That’s fine (and ofc I hope you never do!)
3. Watch Being Glue by Tanya Reilly (she has it in essay form on her blog but watch the video on YT first!) A lot of ‘Woman In’ stuff I think falls under this category, and it often takes away from your core work in a way that is very unhelpful to you — men don’t have to spend time on this sort of thing! and that time adds up. That said, once you do feel further along and more comfortable, helping recruit can be rewarding personally. But be careful it doesn’t swamp you and take away from your success.
4. Don’t be embarrassed about being a woman. There are two ways to cope with being The Only One, which I was for so many years, and… it gets exhausting either way. I didn’t even realize how exausting until I was on a team of all woman and didn’t have to do it suddenly. It was like the sun came out. But, you might find yourself in one of two modes (and when I say “you” below, I am talking of my experiences. I just thing they’re common based on conversations with others):
– First, being one of the guys. Dressing down, modifying how you speak to match their tone and vocabulary, shrinking your stories to fit things that match their culture (are you really so private, or is it you just won’t fit in?) and totally ignoring any differences in working style or method based on your different early experiences and approach to solving problems. This works for awhile but once you’re past entry level, it gets more difficult because you never really learn to trust *your* way of being, nor to confront the differences that your male coworkers absolutely do notice anyway. Like it or not they do treat you differently — I read a private anonymous industry forum and it’s viscerally upsetting sometimes the things they say about women when women aren’t around.
– Second, being unapologetically a woman, dressing a bit more femme, talking more with your hands, NOT being private about your life when people are sharing their weekend plans, generally being yourself and not one of the guys. This is hard. It feels wrong because there jobs are so deeply coded male that acting any other way feels subversive. It gets you noticed. You might not be taken as seriously, but you will also have more energy for the work because you aren’t spending so much time contorting yourself into a different identity. You might feel resentful that being yourself isn’t “enough,” but conversely you will be surprised by who really doesn’t care and who is an actual ally. Masks come off for worse but ALSO for better. It’s easier to find the right place to be and the right people to surround yourself with to get there.
I found my strongest networks, friends, and champions when I adopted more of approach #2. I was being held back in subtle and not so subtle ways by the fact that I would NEVER be one of the guys, so being myself brought new strengths and energy. Being authentic about who I was got me more respect in the end.
This may not pertain to you at all, the workplace isn’t the same as when I started, but given that was STILL the only woman on my team until a year ago, well… I doubt it’s that different really.
Best of luck in your career. Whether or not you know it, you’re actually breaking barriers here. Even tho it feels like on 2025 that’s an outdated thing, it’s not, or you wouldn’t be 1/300! But you are. You don’t have to rep all women, but don’t be afraid to rep yourself and acknowledge what you being there represents! (But no I wouldn’t do the panel either.)
